Judged in love for clothes; beaten to ground for fighting back: Fatima Sana Shaikh shares painful truth of being a woman

Fatima Sana Shaikh has opened up about deeply personal incidents that reflect the harsh consequences women often face for simply being themselves. The actor, known for her roles in Dangal, Metro In Dino, and Aap Jaisa Koi, spoke about losing a long-term relationship over how she dressed — and also about being physically assaulted after standing up to public harassment.

Relationship Strained by Clothing Choices
In a conversation with Hauterrfly, Fatima revealed that her longest relationship ended because of her clothes. While her partner never explicitly told her what to wear, she described how he would react with hostility and suspicion whenever she wore something he didn’t approve of. Even though he could logically explain that he understood her choices, his emotions would take over and lead to unfounded feelings of betrayal. Over time, this behavior led Fatima to feel anxious about getting dressed, worrying whether her partner would silently judge her each time she opened her wardrobe.

She eventually decided to walk away from the relationship, recognizing that it had become centered around his discomfort rather than mutual respect. For her, no relationship should make someone question their right to self-expression. During the same conversation, actor Ayesha Raza also echoed Fatima’s view on the importance of equality and emotional safety in any relationship.

Assaulted for Resisting Harassment
In another revelation with Hauterrfly, Fatima recounted being physically attacked in public after she defended herself against inappropriate touching. She shared that a man once touched her without consent, and she instinctively hit him. But instead of backing off, he retaliated by striking her so forcefully that she collapsed on the ground. The incident left a lasting impact on her. Fatima explained how the experience made her more cautious and aware of the risks women take even when they simply try to protect themselves.

The most painful part, she said, was the realisation that when something wrong happens to women, the burden of responding “correctly” also falls on them. They’re forced to consider how to react safely — even when they’re the ones being violated.

Harassed On Streets During Lockdown
The pattern of harassment didn’t end there. Fatima recalled another incident with Hauterrfly that occurred during the COVID-19 lockdown, while she was cycling in Mumbai. Despite wearing a mask, she was followed and harassed by a tempo driver who honked and made disturbing sounds until she managed to turn into a side lane and get away. The memory stayed with her.

Fatima’s willingness to speak out has resonated with many. Online, users responded emotionally to her words, with several sharing their own experiences of being judged for their appearance or harassed for asserting themselves. One commenter pointed out the double standard — how men who have women in their own families who dress freely still control or question their partners for doing the same.