When Hamas terrorists kidnapped me, I prayed for one thing

The traumatic events of October 7, 2023 are forever imprinted on Eli Sharabi's mind. "I will never forget the look of terror in their eyes," he says about his British wife, Lianne, and their daughters, Noiya, 16, and Yahel, 13, after masked Hamas terrorists, armed with Kalashnikovs, stormed their kibbutz near Israel's southern border two years ago today.

Eli is speaking exclusively to the Daily Express on the second anniversary of the October 7 attacks as he publishes the English language version of his book, Hostage, which details his subsequent kidnap and 491 days in captivity.

The 53-year-old never saw his wife and daughters alive again. All three were slaughtered in their home in Kibbutz Be'eri shortly after Eli was taken - their British passports not saving them as he had hoped.

Thinking back to the moment of pandemonium when terrorists bundled him into a stolen car, he recalls the prayer that ran through his head. "Just not a tunnel, please, God, not a tunnel," he repeats back today over Zoom. "Not the nightmare of being buried underground, a bottomless underworld with no light, no air, and no return."

Eli was one of the 250 Israelis forced across the border into Gaza that day. At least another 1,195 were murdered including his wife and teenage daughters. His older brother Yossi was also kidnapped but killed after 100 days in captivity. He only learned of their murders after being reunited with his brother Sharon, mother Hannah and sister, Osnat Matalon, following his release on February 8 this year as part of the Hamas-Israel agreement.

Speaking about his wife and daughters, he says: "I had hoped they had survived but by then I knew the extent of what had happened in Israel on that day and deep down I had known there was a strong possibility they had been murdered."

By the time of his release, he weighed less than seven stone having been starved, beaten, shackled in irons and kept in darkness for much of his captivity. After being kept in leg chains for so long, he could barely walk.

Eli says writing the book has been incredibly painful, but also a form of therapy. "It represents an important part of my country's history and I am a small part of that now," he says.

Although he has physically recovered, Eli still looks underweight. With the support of a therapist who he sees regularly, last week he made an emotional return to his former home where his wife and daughters were murdered.

Yet he felt unable to go inside.

"Not just yet," he says. "My therapist, who is like family to me now, says it will take more time."

Right now, he is campaigning to secure the release of the remaining 48 hostages.

"I am surrounded by family and friends at all times," he says. "I am never alone and their strength and support is getting me through. Next week I am going to move into my own apartment, another step forward.

"I have to start my life again. I am so lucky to be alive and to be a free man. Freedom is priceless."

Eli was held with different hostages throughout his captivity including Ori Danino, Almog Sarusi, and Hersh Goldberg-Polin, who were all murdered by Hamas.

He spent most of his time with Nova festival survivor Alon Ohel, 24, a musician who remains a hostage to this day.

"I did my best to look after him because you cannot expect the younger ones who didn't have my life experience to have the tools to cope as well but we all looked out for each other."

The hostages prayed together and performed Jewish rituals every Friday "for comfort and strength".

Eli adds: "But I never once thought I wouldn't survive. I never thought I wouldn't get out. I am a very positive person."

The hunger was the hardest part. During his last six months in captivity, Eli survived on half a pitta or a small bowl of pasta a day.

He writes: "The hunger turns each man inward. Empathy dries up. These are hard moments. When everything you are, everything I am, is reduced to one thing: hunger."

The Hamas terrorists would taunt the hostages by eating full meals in front of them. As well as being starved, the men were denied showers or access to clean clothes.

"I never knew the human body could collect so much filth," says Eli.

Things became worse when the cesspit under the toilet stopped draining causing raw sewage to rise to the surface every day.

Chained together, the hostages were often forced to go to the toilet together. "It was so humiliating but it was just one of many humiliations and beatings," says Eli.

Born in Tel Aviv-Yafo, he moved to Kibbutz Be'eri aged 14 with his brother Yossi as youth residents. In April 1995, he met British kibbutz volunteer Lianne Brisley, then aged 20. They later married in the UK.

On the day of his release, Eli's first phone call was to his wife's parents. Before October 7, the family would spend every Christmas with them in Bristol. "It was so hard talking to them," he says. "They have moved to Wales now and I will go there this Christmas. They are still and always will be my family."

He stays strong by focusing on the remaining hostages.

"I am not a politician or a soldier but I feel it is my job to keep raising awareness of them," he says.

Israelis, he adds, are tired of the war. "Most I speak to have had enough," he says. "They want it to be over so we can heal from this trauma."

He hopes to become a private maths tutor for young people in the future. "I will not let the grief and sadness bury me and I will not rot in it," he says. "I choose to move on and be positive, I choose light."

Hostage by Eli Sharabi (Swift Press, £18.99) is out now